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Technorati Tags: Technology, troubleshooting

“Drama”. I am sick to death of that word and with the vast realms of descriptions of which our language consists, I am certain we can find a new word. The thesaurus provides many options: http://thesaurus.reference.com/browse/drama

Why do people key the cars of people they don’t even know? I don’t think we should do that to people who have wronged us (I will cut some slack though) but to randomly deface or destroy another’s property, just for kicks, repulsive.

People who cheat on either their significant other or spouse. It is sometimes forgivable but never ok to do while kept a secret from the victim. People separate, that’s cool. But while living like a happy couple and sneaking around, picking up nasty diseases and bringing them home to your unsuspecting love, so disgusting.

Not selling beer in the state of Arkansas on Sundays. I can’t even type fast enough to express the master stupid of this law. It is endlessly pointless and then there is the state revenue, drunkers driving even further to fetch booze out of state, doesn’t stop anyone from drinking, teaches no lessons…. I have to stop before my had starts to do that Linda Blaire head spin….

Not allowing your children to get dirty. Ever. Kids need to get dirty. Adults need to get dirty. And I needn’t explain why we need to be exposed to the occasional germ.

Parents who are not at all involved in the emotional or financial support of their offspring, by their own choosing. I cannot imagine not caring for my child’s needs. And no matter if anything ever happened that myself and husband went our separate ways, I have absolutely no doubt that he would continue to support and parent our son. Not because he had to but because he would absolutely desire to because he loves him.

Outlawing abortion. Personally, I detest the act of abortion simply because you don’t want to have a baby. I fully understand making this choice for health reasons where your or the life of your child is jeopardized… there are always circumstances that are beyond my judgment but incest, rape and the like are absolutely, in my mind, no good reason to end a life. Ever. Having never been faced with this decision all the way I stand in full support of folks who make this choice for their lives. No, I don’t have to agree with them, but abortion is a choice. Outlawing it will only endanger the lives of women who seek the illegal kind and that alone is a good enough reason to make it legal in every state.

People who are invited into your home only to leave with something that belongs to you or your family or friends. Thieves are cruel. They threaten and violate your life and sense of safety. They also violate your trust of your friends. I love my friends and trust them. I can not remember the last time a friend has stolen from me. This makes me happy.

I am endlessly exasperated by individuals who fail to HEAR what you are saying and INTERPRET it however they want to make you look like an asshole when all you are doing is trying to communicate. Please listen to what I am telling you and stop mangling it into some completely different scenario that supports your current opinion of me.

I don’t understand why we all speak our opinions as if they are fact. I do it often, I can admit that. I am flawed. I’m not alone in that but some days we should look at ourselves with the same perceptions we impose on others. I strive to do that, even as it stings, reduces me to the reality that is my own fault and ultimately grows me as a person.

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How-to:

1. Right click your desktop and create a new folder.

2. Rename the folder: SuperAdmin.{ED7BA470-8E54-465E-825C-99712043E01C}

3. Open the folder.

Enjoy!

- UberTod

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Technorati Tags: Geekdom, Technology

tomorrow marks the 30 year anniversary of the mass suicide / murders at jonestown that took the lives of over 900 people.

on a personal note, i have always been deeply interested (fascinated in an unhealthy way) with criminal behavior. i try not to look at what happened on that day as something cult-like, though many would argue that it was indeed the act of a cult. it does not matter to me if jones was a monster, if he ruled over a cult. i’m not really concerned if these folks were the victim of some supposed circumstance which made them vulnerable to a “madman”. my only point is to try to fathom why this horrible tragedy took place.

to put this in my perspective, i had just rounded my 5th birthday when this dreadful day unfolded. i have no memory of it. many people my age and younger do for whatever reason. maybe my folks didn’t mention it, maybe i wasn’t interested if they did. i am glad for any reason that my 5 year old head was never cluttered with this very confusing information. in fact, it was cluttered with much of my own confusing information, excepting this and perhaps a few other things.

i suppose it was somewhere in my teens that i actually heard about jonestown. i can’t say for sure but i have a sense that i have known about it for some time. i am only assuming. a few years ago i began doing research for a book i had hoped to write. the research was extensive and indepth. it took me through several books, many records and into correspondence with a death row inmate and even a guard on death row. i was so entangled in this dark and dismal lifestyle that i became spiritually propelled into places i know are not even touched by the light of god. inevitably, this turned from interest to illness. for me, it is a very easy place into which i can slip.

now it is 30 years later. to mark the 30 year date, there are lots of documentaries, old and new, that are all over the tv. i love documentaries more than any other form of media and entertainment. so i am a full-on sucker for this madness. somehow in my life i have picked up this compilation of data from the jonestown “massacre”… or whatever they have dubbed it this go-around. myself, i hate to call it anything. it’s not my little nugget to name. it’s not yours either, unless you were there. those who were there, it belongs to them. let them call it what they want. they would know. still, i found myself watching, researching, blubbering in agony over anything related to jonestown. at least for the last few days. none of the accounts were new to me. for reasons i can’t recall, i knew everything they were saying before they said it or any story they were telling before they told it. somewhere along the way, my brain collected this information and stored it.

funny thing is this: i knew this story, in horrific detail already. but i have found that having it replayed for me now was like hearing it for the very first time. see, what is different now is that i have a child and a husband. maybe i am getting closer to a point, but i’m not sure. i can only say that the impact this tragedy has on me now is of a very different variety. in my life, i have never felt this connected, complete. not to say i have had a detachment from my parents and siblings. but those of you with your own families, the ones you have created… maybe you understand.

i’m writing about jonestown, but i am not going to repeat here the horrifying events, the absolute terror and ultimate heartbreak that took place. if you are interested, there is plenty of stuff out there with which you can inform yourself. if you are ignorant of it, i see no purpose in educating yourself. unless, of course, you are interested in human criminal behavior. or anything you find defines what happened there.

i am only pouring this out as some form of outlet to the personal horror i am feeling. yes, i am holding my baby boy even closer to me. i am promising even more fervently to protect him. i am waking in the middle of the night to terrible nightmares and feeling more alone than i have in awhile.i am not able to look at these people’s lives with the detachment i am familiar with. please forgive me for sounding romantic, but i feel like it haunts me. this feeling is not unfamiliar to me, but it is always evanescent. thank god for that!

again, i am without a point, other than to try to validate my own sad feelings about the lives lost on that horrible day. so many lives. so many dreams, unrealized. so many thoughts that will never be thought. so much hope and so much love. gone. cut short. and with very little time to make sense of it, before they had to die. it all happened too fast and those people were not able to think for themselves. i don’t know why they were there, what they thought they were doing. but i do know this more than anything at all. when those faithful people went into jonestown, they sure weren’t planning to leave it by killing their own children and holding their loved-ones in their arms as they died. nor did they plan to die themselves, this way.

i suppose this is why i am having a hard time sleeping these days. but i’ll sleep soundly again. and there will be days i don’t think about this. but for today, i am acknowledging that this community of people did exist. they loved. they lived. and they were.

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Not Necessarily Road Rage, Perhaps Road Love

I get road rage, If you know me, this isn’t news to you. I was quite distracted today with my thoughts, in an unfamiliar and busy intersection and a little confused as to which lane I needed to be in. This should be absolutely no excuse because you have to be at your best when you take the safety of other drivers, pedestrians and your precious child in your car into consideration. However, accidents happen. One nearly happened to me today.

I was in a double turning lane going the same direction into my turn as the inside lane. I hate these kinds of lanes because inevitably some asshole will come right over into my lane that I am currently occupying. This startles and maddens me every singly time. Today, I had the pleasure of being that asshole. I have given you some reasons but they really hold no water because I put the safety of someone else (including my child) because I was flustered for whatever reason, into danger. I have been this way all day and might have been brighter to stay home.

Anyway, the man in the truck in HIS lane that I overtook, hit his breaks and avoided the collision. He laid on the horn (exactly as I would have done in his shoes) and pulled into the same gas station as I did. He got out of his truck and silently huffed, barely shaking his head, as he went into the store.

I felt terrible. Such incidents as being cut off in traffic tend to shake me to my core because we all know they can often be very frightening.

I pumped my gas and waited for this man to come back out of the store. I waited awhile too, he was shopping. But I had to acknowledge what I had done and offer my regrets for my actions. As I approached him, I asked, to be sure, if I had just cut him off at the turn. He looked at me as he loaded stuff into his truck and told me he was sorry for getting upset, that he had had a bad day. In case you missed it, HE TOLD ME SORRY FOR BLASTING HIS HORN AT ME AFTER I NEARLY CAUSED HIM AN ACCIDENT. I immediately told him I was so sorry, that I hated when people do that to me and I could make no excuse other than not paying really good attention. He had told me his day was bad and I offered that mine had been stressful too and then the DAMN TEARS started. This kind man came all the way around his truck and embraced me in a warm hug right there in front of everyone at the pumps. Obviously, we must have been the only people there as far as we were concerned.

After all this, I assured him I was fine and that I’d feel better soon and I hope his day would get better. We exchanged smiles and maybe waved and I wiped my tears and called my Mom.

Needless to say, I was happy with the ending to this story and wish more of mine would come off this way than my cussing and flipping the ever-ready finger.

I don’t know if it will change my future road raging too much, but it might. Today was probably a day better spent off the roads.

Kind gentleman, if you are out there, know that with the help of some friends and family and an understanding stranger, my day had improved.

I wish we could just speak to those who road rage us more often in person and try to understand their lives a bit better, instead of duking it out in the roads or shooting at each other.

I just thought I would share this experience and maybe renew your faith in mankind just a little.

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