Be assured, this is not going to be a blog exalting the much endorsed practice of positive thinking. Don’t get me wrong, I believe there to be a modicum of reasoning behind this convention. Positive thinking sometimes applies. I don’t think I need to go into the particulars of when we should dig up this ritual to pull us through difficult times. I think we all have a good grasp of the basics.

The reason I feel like this should be further examined is because positive thinking is often pushed on us at times when it simply does not apply or when the suggestion only serves to minimize and diminish our very real feelings about something. And sometimes we just aren’t ready yet. People go through stages and we respond better when some things are kept in order.

Let me explain a little about my own belief system. I believe with all of my heart that there are times in life when we have to indulge our bad feelings in order to learn and grow and ultimately to heal. When we oblige the depths of our sadness, grief, frustration, anger and so forth, we are acknowledging them. Acknowledgement is an important step in growth and the road to mending. Too often when we are at our darkest hour, on the cusp of a deeper enlightenment, we are interrupted by someone telling us to think positive. Sometimes they go a little further than that to tell us to count our blessings or to look around at the others who are suffering so much more than us with our insignificantly regarded problems.

We should count our blessings. Those of us who have our own suffering are not without feelings for those others who suffer. We also know the good things we have going on. But we are personally living our own lives, not the lives of others. We have to wake up in the morning to the reality of our own perceived crisis. It is about perception and perception is very real. When we are going through the motions, discounting our perception of reality can be damaging or insulting.

When I see someone suffering with difficulties in life, I try to listen to them. If someone complains to me about their situation I allow it. I allow them to feel the way they do. I won’t advocate them, or myself, wallowing endlessly in anguish, but indulging a bad feeling for a reasonable amount of time is permitted. And sometimes it is necessary. I don’t see this as a time to tell a person to think positive. When they reach that point in their emotional progression, they will figure this one out on their own. I like to think that if we respect a person’s feelings, they will continue, uninterrupted, on their very personal path to self-discovery and eventually to a better feeling. I don’t think they need the obvious course of action thrown in their face before the application of this course would do any good. If someone has to be told to think positive, it is likely that they are not capable of doing so. The rest of us are perfectly capable so please respect that we have the depth of character to find this end ourselves. Occasionally, if we need a little reminder, point out a couple of good things in our lives. But let us feel the way we do. It’s respectful.